Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes
Being on this Earth going on 29 Years, A LOT of things change.
People come & go, you get married, you have kids, you develop a gluten allergy, shit just happens. Things change whether you want them to or not & there is simply nothing you can do about it. A LOT of people hate change. Why? Because we are habit forming creatures. We develop tendencies that allow our mind & body to do things subconsciously. We wake up at a certain time, we go to bed at a certain time & on Wednesday’s we wear pink (Having an older sister, I had to watch Mean Girls no less than 1,000 times). Whatever it may be, we like getting used to a routine because it allows us to be comfortable. But, with comfortability, we are inevitably led down the road to “Same Shit, Different Day”.
Me personally, I don’t mind when things change. We all form habits & get in the groove of things. But with all grooves, come the ruts. Even in the “Same Shit, Different Day” stage there are highs & lows. If you have read my previous posts, I have mentioned that I am not a saint. I’ve lived the “Fast” life for quite some time thinking that was the way to be happy. Going 100MPH at all times, just toeing the line of getting in trouble and getting away with it. It’s a thrilling feeling if you get away with living like that, but the trouble that follows that lifestyle is far more intense than that thrill could ever be. The biggest problem with that lifestyle; you know in your mind that it is a problem, yet you keep doing it. Do we do it because we know that we aren’t supposed to? Kind of like when your dad told you to not touch the stove because he knew it was hot, but you did it anyway and burnt the piss out of yourself. Clearly, we don’t like being told what to do. We are our own person with free will & when someone tries to withhold you from something, it makes you want it more. So why do we keep doing things that we know are bad for us mentally & physically?
We know it hurts our health. We know that we lose control. We know that we can embarrass ourselves & others. To be frank, it’s a pretty fucking long list of bad shit that can happen when you live the “Rockstar Lifestyle”, trust me. Somehow, I managed to get through this period of my life without getting in any serious trouble. Now, when I say trouble, I am basically just referring to legal stuff. But when you live the “Rockstar” life, you tend to find other “Rockstars” that live just like you. A fucking ticking timebomb that is. Everyone going 100MPH & only thinking about themselves. Fights happen, friends quit being friends, people steal, lie, cheat… All the shit you’ve seen in every cool movie ever is happening right in front of your face. Let me say, they definitely make it seem cool in Hollywood because when the shit is happening to you & around you, it isn’t so cool.
Well, with a little bit of luck & A LOT of will power I was able to take a step back and look at what was going on around me. Taking a step back allowed me to consider all the things that happened during that part of my life. From friends passing away, people getting arrested, fighting, betrayal… you name it, it probably happened. But comprehending all of these things that happen when you’re in that zone of “Rockstar Living” you’re don’t really take it in or see the consequences. You don’t acknowledge that these things going on around you have a MASSIVE impact on your life. Nope, instead you just crack another cold one. Going back to the only way you know how to cope with any slight inconvenience. Also, if we’re being completely honest here, I got sick & tired of the same bullshit drama that goes along with that lifestyle.
So, when I said “a little bit of luck” earlier, I think it was actually timing of events. It was Labor Day Monday. I was hungover as could be after Labor Day weekend. I spent all weekend by the pool with buddies, steady drinking & eating. When I say we were drinking, I mean we were Drinking Drinking. It was fun in the moment, but when Monday rolled around & I had to get mentally sound for work on Tuesday, I wasn’t doing too good. I was lying in bed at 2:00p.m. on beautiful day, just absolutely wasting away. Feeling guilty because I knew that I did this to myself, I decided to turn on a podcast and try to take a nap. Before I could fall asleep, the fella on the podcast took a couple of calls from people that were in the same boat as me on that excruciating Monday. These people were doing the usual song & dance of “AHHHHHHH, I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN”, which is funny because I’d be willing to bet that 99.9% of us have said that exact sentence. The only problem is, we ended up pouring another one.
I’ve said that exact sentence hundreds of times in my life, but there was just something different about it this time. One of the callers was a kid, at least he sounded like a kid. He had had to be in his LOW 20’s, hell maybe a high school kid. You could hear the pain in his voice when he was talking, like he was lost. He knew that he was actually struggling with drinking but didn’t know where to go or what to do. He just knew that this “routine” lifestyle he was living had to stop. He started by simply asking for advice & some guidance on what to do. Once the kid finished his question, the podcaster just sat there for about 10-15 seconds & didn’t say a word. After that moment of dead air, the fella just looked up and said, “Bud, Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes”.
What a simple thing to say. It wasn’t a prescription list that you’d get from a doctor or this long-drawn-out speech from some liberal arts major. It was 5 words and 2 of the words were just repeats. Nothing crazy, nothing fancy. Just a simple, matter of fact statement. The caller didn’t know what to say & truthfully, I didn’t know what to say either. So, I sat there and thought about it. “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes” - after thinking for a little bit I realized, well he’s not wrong. If you keep doing the same shit, the same shit is going to keep happening. It’s like the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over & over the exact same way every time and expecting a different result. What a simple concept that neither I nor the majority of people have grasped. If you don’t want to feel like you do anymore, quit doing whatever it is that is making you feel that way. HOLY SHIT, who would have thought?
We are just so used to the constant “why does this always happen to me?”. We put blame on everything but ourselves. We don’t own up to our mistakes and when they get pointed out it makes us act out even more. It’s a never-ending cycle of “nothing is my fault”. So why do we keep doing it? Because we are used to it? Because it “makes us happy”? Because it takes the edge off? No matter what, we will always end up finding an excuse to make ourselves feel better about our actions. A simple example of that would be a situation we’ve all been put through more than once & it involves the “Karen’s”. The Karen’s out there that just bitch at people for no reason, you know exactly who I am talking about. The way you can casually spot them is just by listening. Usually their go to line is “I never do this, BUT….” & I can’t help but laugh because you and I both know that they are a bitch 24/7 - 365. Rain or Shine, Hell or Highwater, Karen’s are going to be Karen’s. That is their genetic make-up. They do it all the time, they just say that so they can feel better about themselves before & after they treat you like shit.
If you haven’t noticed this trend, start paying a closer attention. You’ll realize that people have these little sayings that they use to create an excuse as to why they are about to do something before they even do it. This is simply a defense mechanism just so they can feel okay with their actions. After a while, they will stand out like a sore thumb & you can’t quit hearing them. But with that, while we are trying to pick up on other people’s excuses, we need to pick up on our own. Coming to a realization that you aren’t/haven’t been the “best” person in the world might be tough. It’s pretty shitty actually, but at least you know where you currently stand and can get an idea of where you want to stand in the future. It’s a difficult conclusion to come to but, most of the time the only person holding you back is yourself. You just have to admit it & make a change, even if it is little changes overtime. Something is better than nothing & it is the little things that make the biggest difference. “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes”.
Destin Smith
“Life’s a garden, DIG it!” - Joe Dirt
